Scene opens – a late sunny afternoon at the kitchen table. A man is dialing his telephone.
(Man): Hi Mrs. Merge? This is Hall85. Is Merge available?
(Mrs. Merge): Hi, he is um, uh, well he’s working upstairs at the moment. Can I take a message?
(Hall85): I was just checking in on him. He hasn’t posted on Piratecrew for quite a while.
(Mrs. Merge): Oh yeah. Since his new promotion, he’s been really busy and with coaching the kids and all, he just hasn’t had a lot of free time. I will tell him you called. Bye now.
Hall85 hangs up and taps on the phone again.
(Voice): Hi this is SHUSA. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you. The voicemail is full and cannot accept messages at this time. Goodbye.
Hall85 hangs up the phone and sighs deeply. A woman walks in carrying a mop and bucket.
(Woman): What’s the matter dear? You look like you lost your best friend.
(Hall85): Hi honey, I was checking on Merge and SHUSA. They never seem to post on Piratecrew anymore.
(Mrs. Hall85): Well maybe they’re busy. You know, it wouldn’t be the worst thing if you took some time away from Piratecrew yourself.
(Hall85): Don’t be ridiculous. I am the Prince of Piratecrew. The place can’t survive without me.
(Mrs. Hall85): I think Dan has it under control. If you want to talk to someone, call Pirata. He’s always been a good friend. Lift your feet dear. I can’t clean under the table with you sitting there.
(Hall85, lifting his legs): I know, I should, but he’s so boorring.
(Mrs. Hall85): Hush your mouth. He’s put up with you for years and besides, we’re having dinner with him and Dolores in two weeks.
(Hall85): Alright; maybe later.
Mrs. Hall85 puts down the mop and kisses Hall85 on the forehead.
(Mrs. Hall85): It will be ok. I’m sure you’ll make new friends. Why don’t you putter with your balls in the dining room while I start dinner. I’m making your favorite – chicken pesto. I’m using the recipe we learned from the time we went to that cooking class in NYC a few years back.
Hall85 pops up from the chair and starts towards the dining room
(Hall85): Ooh boy that will lift a man’s spirits!
Mrs. Hall85 grips her mop and gets back to cleaning.
(Mrs. Hall85 under her breath): Heaven help me.